By: Tambria Marsh, LCSWA
Has your mind ever gone from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds? Mine has—plenty of times! Have you ever had a health concern and searched it on “Doctor Google,” only for something
small to suddenly seem like the worst possible diagnosis? I definitely have! I think we could probably all agree that, at one point or another, our minds have created thoughts
that were not the most helpful. Honestly, that makes us human. At times, our minds can lean toward the negative much faster than they cling to the positive. Why is that?
Well, there is something called Automatic Negative Thoughts (A.N.T.s). Automatic Negative Thoughts are negative or unhelpful thoughts that arise automatically when situations occur. Here’s an example:
Let’s say I text a friend at 10:00 a.m., and she doesn’t respond until 4:00 p.m. My automatic
thoughts might tell me:
● “She’s mad at me.”
● “She’s tired of me texting her.”
● “She’d rather talk to someone else than me.”
Could those thoughts be true? Sure. But there are many other possible explanations. Maybe she has been in meetings all day and hasn’t looked at her phone. Maybe she’s having a difficult mental health day and responding feels overwhelming. Maybe she typed out a response but forgot to hit send.
Many times, our minds default to the negative because they are trying to protect us. It often feels
safer to prepare for disappointment than to hope for the best. Once again—that makes us human.
Here Comes the Mental Spiral
So, what exactly is a mental spiral? A mental spiral occurs when one thought triggers another… then another… and another… until our minds have carried us far away from truth and reality.
When I think of a mental spiral, I picture a tornado. Can we agree that tornadoes can be incredibly destructive? So can our thoughts. One anxious thought can quickly become ten anxious thoughts. Before we know it, we’ve convinced ourselves something terrible is happening—even when there is little or no evidence to support it.
The good news is that just because our mind tells us something doesn’t mean it is true.
Common Unhelpful Thought Patterns
Here are some examples of common thinking patterns that many of us experience.
● All-or-Nothing Thinking
This occurs when we view situations as either complete success or complete failure. There is no
middle ground.
Example: “I made one mistake during my presentation. I’m terrible at my job.”
● Mind Reading
Mind reading occurs when we assume we know what someone else is thinking, and we automatically believe their thoughts about us are negative.
Example: “My coworker walked right past me without saying hello. They must be upset with me.”
● Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing is expecting or assuming the absolute worst outcome from a situation, even
when there is little evidence to support it.
Example: “My doctor wants me to come back for another appointment. Something must be seriously
wrong.”
● Fortune Telling
Fortune telling is predicting a negative outcome before it even happens.
Example: “I know I’m going to fail this interview, so there’s no point in trying.”
● Personalization
Personalization occurs when we blame ourselves for situations that were outside of our control.
Example: “My friend seems quiet today. I must have done something wrong.”
Potential Reasons Why Our Minds Spiral
Our minds don’t spiral because something is “wrong” with us. Often, they are trying to protect us
from perceived danger.
Some common reasons include:
● Past trauma
● Fear of rejection
● Anxiety
● Fear of failure
● A need for certainty or security
● Previous experiences
Like I stated before, our minds are often trying to protect us—but sometimes they overestimate
danger.
Tips for Reframing Unhelpful Thoughts
One way to interrupt a mental spiral is to slow the process down.
● Step 1: Catch the thought.
○ Become aware of what you’re telling yourself.
● Step 2: Sit with the thought.
○ Write it down if it helps.
● Step 3: Examine the evidence.
○ Ask yourself:
● Is there evidence this thought is true?
● Is there evidence that it may not be true?
● Step 4: Reframe the thought.
○ Try replacing it with a thought that is more balanced and realistic.
Example
Thought: “My friend isn’t texting me back because she doesn’t want to be my friend
anymore.”
Process the thought and your emotions. Ask yourself: “What evidence has my friend given that she no longer wants to be my friend?”
If there is no evidence. Try saying: “She has never given me a reason to believe she doesn’t want to be my friend. I’m going to believe she’ll respond when she has time.”
If there is evidence. Try saying: “If she decides she no longer wants to be my friend, I’ll be okay. It will hurt, but I am capable of making new friendships, and I have other people in my life who care about me.”
Notice that neither response ignores your feelings. Instead, both responses acknowledge reality while reminding you that you are capable of handling whatever comes next.
Practical Tips When Your Mind Is Spiraling
● Journal your thoughts.
● Go for a walk or move your body.
● Practice mindfulness or meditation.
● Pause before reacting.
● Consider alternative explanations.
● Talk with someone you trust.
● Limit reassurance-seeking and excessive Googling.
● Remind yourself that your feelings are valid, but they are not always facts.
Your thoughts are powerful—but they are not always truthful. One anxious thought does not define reality, and one difficult moment does not define your future. Learning to take captive every thought and pause, question your thoughts, and respond with compassion takes practice. Over time, those small moments of intentional reflection can change the way you experience life’s challenges.
Remember, you don’t have to believe every thought that enters your mind. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is pause, take a breath, and ask yourself: “Is this thought helping me, or is it hurting me?” If the answer is “hurting me,” perhaps it’s time to challenge the narrative your mind is telling and
replace it with one that is grounded in truth, evidence, and self-compassion.